LETTER TO A PEN FRIEND

 
You have your feet washed and oiled with ointments of strong fragrance
And yond blue sky of which mine bellows like a tattered kite is your limits
What is here to envy in this sick emaciated skin that needs deliverance?
Is it the charred future or the low lone life that had been chipped in bits?

Yours is a castle and a bed warmed by parental embrace.
Love curls you around like a python around it's prey that the cold winds don't penetrate.
I lay my poor senews on borrowed beds picturing the end line of another race
When the next morning light bulbs 'what will I eat?' I'll meditate.

But you have a life that looks like a savanna grassland green in pastures and fertile
And you yourself remind me every day what a low life I am dropped outta college
I frown a smile over it and watch my bloods mustar the tile
And with a big ego and a traitorous heart you keep kicking this 'less-with-no-previllege'.

You took away all that I loved and everything I ever wanted
You took away everything and even the things yourself never wanted
You told hem lies, misled hem, made hem see me as a villian
Used my history and my attitude to turn me into Satan
Made my flaws italiced and bold enogh to scare the angels
I played Devil in your scripts of lies and lose everything for you lead the Angels.

Not even once do I fight back, but you keep dragging me in the mud
You pulled my garments of repute and merge it in charcoal water
I became as dark as night a mad man that feeds from the manger cud
And I can look into all of their eyes those turned against me, my eyes burning with fire
They are mad and brainless
They are blind, washed and senseless
 

I AM JESUS CHRIST

Oh, look!
How I'm beaten and battered by life.
Look how they pierce my side with a spear!
Look how I fold the whole universe into one ball
and carry it on my shoulder;
I am Jesus Christ!

I had saved the last hour for both fiends and friends
How would I know Zombies from men's mask?
I couldn't.
So I grew in between tares that grew boundless like vegetables
And wrap their octopod tentacles around me.
I am Jesus Christ!

I have built many grave stones as well as dug many graves
I have worshipped many ghosts
and say dreams speech jokingly.
I have tended myriad relationships
that shatter like Chinas rolling down a staircase
I guess then I am not Jesus Christ.

Now I have hit another cross-road
And the whole universe is upon my shoulder
I have neither a compass nor a map
I know not where to go
Should I throw the world into this abyss?

Look!
The Gentiles have gone to war
They say the Lord is coming
With sword and a scale in hand
To give to every man according to the size of his cup a drink
Who shall escape 'The Great Doomsday'?
Nobody!

Then we shall all perish
because holy or unholy all have one  'hommy'.
The same river run down our veins
It all runs down to the tree planted by the banks of Euphrates.

But I do not believe the books
Whether there's Satan or not
Or if Job was a faithful and Ahab a mislead
If Abraham is the father of faith,
Or if the Bible is a story book as argue some philosophers
But I do believe there's a just God
Who cannot destroy his own
Made from his image
How can humans be perfect when they were cursed?
If a man acts under a spell, he is not guilty.

I am Jesus Christ
because I think more than you.
Sometimes my eyes spin in its optics
and my tongue stick in between teeth as I grit
I am insane with sanity.
Science is a fool, Philosophy is an ingrate
I have no time for lies and madness.

We're already burning in Hell
There's no Hell Fire
The sins of our forbears had already visited us
And we shall go through corruption in Hades.

But I alone will fight your wars
For I am your god.
I shall stand as the lawyer between you and God
I am Jesus Christ!
 

MY VIRGINITY WAS LOST

 
⁠⁠⁠He told me it will be perfect
to keep calm as he dragged his shirt.
He pushed me in bed
He told me not to be scared.
We kissed, we clawed
My underwear was wet, I was screwed.

I felt the ecstasy metamorphose into pains
There was blood stains
I panted, I begged him, he had no pity
I lost my virginity.

He told me not to scream
He said "this is like eating ice-cream".
At first it was really like a dream
It was sweeter than ice-cream
when his tongue strolled across my womanhood
I remembered aborted memories of childhood.

But as he went faster,
As he went deeper,
The more pain I felt
I held tight his belt
After all this, blood scattered on the bed,
I took my pants and left, felt sick and bad.
Into tears I burst
For my virginity was lost.

I felt empty, I felt like gold I had lost
It felt like I had paid the greater cost
He said everything will be right,
but why did I not feel alright?
I paid the higher cost,
My virginity was lost.

When he had erupted he said "thank you"
Why did he say 'thank you'?
I realised two days later
But why didn't I know earlier
that for the service he was thanking me?
He said it was over between us, he used me
I paid the higher cost.
My virginity was lost.

I trusted him, but he lied to me
I loved him, but he only used me.
I broke all my parents' rules for him
I rejected every man to stay with him
I risked everything for him
I believed in him
Now I have lost everything for his lust
For my virginity was lost.

He left me with nothing but guilt
All the dreams and future together we built
Wrecked with the ships of deceit.
He only wanted to drag me to the pit.
I paid the higher cost
My virginity was lost.

It's been eight months now,
I am gathering my things to take a bow
From this cruel world, this horrible zoo.
He died of AIDS which means it's my destiny too.
I paid the higher cost,
My virginity was lost.
 

BAKASI STORM

We heard the sounds of strange gongs and steams
accompanied by the sounds of whistles
A merchant said the sounds weren't strange
but this feelings had never been familiar.

I heard the wails of 'newborns',
the sobs of the expectants,
the wails of the nursing,
but this feeling had never been familiar.

I heard the scathing sounds in the greens,
perceived and believed my intuitions
It was an ambush, we never expected,
this feelings had never been familiar.

We heard there was same ceremony in Lagos, Oyo and Ife
We heard their machines made the allied forces wild
And it set Owu ablaze,
But this feelings had never been familiar.

We heard they came with a new religion
that they came like a thief in the middle of the night
This feelings had never been familiar

We watched the villages washed and wiped away
by the Bakasi storms,
the market places seized.
New goods of tin and iron ore planted in it
We knew that was the onset,
Yet this feelings had never been familiar

We watched King Jaja's throne overruled
King Jaja expelled and exiled
Lolo's hut was shattered
Princes stolen
This experience had never been familiar

We heard the stolen became slaves,
but they were said to serve our nation
Oh, buffalo soldiers!
Our pride, disgraced
Our freedom, trampled upon
This experience had never been familiar

Alas! The pride of my fatherland
Stolen, never to be seen again
Now, it's a strange land we dwell!
Yes! This feelings become reality.

 

THE GREAT JOURNEY

''Little soldiers, stand your ground; I will be back soon''.
That was Daddy's voice every morning as he set out to work
He oft placed his ears on our cell wall
And we'ld kick from our watermelon pods and Mom will scream.

Nine months wilted like the yellow trees of Darlington in summer
Our coconut water had transformed to gristles
So I took my first gulp of air as a runner up.

I heared Danny shrill in terror and his voice travelled a million mile
I wondered what was so scary.
The vast illumination or the midwife's rumpled palms?
She had to smack me so hard that I yelled
And she looked at me and said: ''Old man no tears?
This one is a soldier!"

Then we started running on all fours and I wondered
Why grownups stood gigantic on twos.
Why do they always yell at us? Why was our food different?
Why cant we just crawl into that pail of water withouth mum screaming?
Why was the sky blue? Why won't mum understand our language?

As tenagers we stormed the street always wanting our wills
Lost in our desires. We did crazy things
We built tree houses and played in the beach
We stole, we sneaked out, we kissed, we dated, we made love.
We also fought and quarrel, protected our friends and framed foes.

Now we muse over our pasts, now we regret
We wish to turn back the hands of time.
We allowed so many good people leave
We allowed too many bad people come in.
We miss our friends and lovers and families buried in the sands.

Now I am here listening to the radio alone
recreating old sounds and inventing new vocabularies that reflects yesterday
Striking the sad tunes and reminiscing Mom and Danny and Gloria.

Now I know how to judge.
I know the difference between 'beautiful' and 'good looking'
The difference between 'grownup' and 'mature'.
I know the difference between Distance and Space,
Love and Hate, Good and Bad.

So when tomorrow knocks, tell him i'm home
I'm not gone to the market.
I'm ready to take the duel and will fight it with my last breathe.
Tell him I had learnt from the misfortunes of yesterday
Now I am a skillful soldier no more Daddy's ''little soldier''.

Tell him that when I bend on all threes people will not mock my gray hairs
Instead it will be craven in another language upon my vault
When all strength is gone and I lay in holy rest
I came, I saw, I conqured!

PICTURES

I see hem on mystic stage fret around like smokes
fluttering
scattered around by the wind.

From ember eyes soaked with the bloods from life's fruitless wars
from horrible yesterday
rom traumatic memories
and from fears and panic.

Pictures,
I see hem in the cemetry,
Ghosts
I see hem in nightmares when I sleep and venture into the uknown.

I see hem on the artist's boards while he paints
scrawny, sad and shaddy

I see hem when i'm sad thoughtful and lonely
when I think about Love and deaths and misstakes
when I think about Mum and Danny
when I think about Gloria.

I see crystal clear your mind through your eyes when you lie.
When you smile and then your skeletons are agrieved
by terror and hatred and envy.

Then I look at my reflection on the mirror.
I am the only beautiful thing on earth.
I see zombies with ugly faces in handsome masks

Pictures!