MY VIRGINITY WAS LOST

 
⁠⁠⁠He told me it will be perfect
to keep calm as he dragged his shirt.
He pushed me in bed
He told me not to be scared.
We kissed, we clawed
My underwear was wet, I was screwed.

I felt the ecstasy metamorphose into pains
There was blood stains
I panted, I begged him, he had no pity
I lost my virginity.

He told me not to scream
He said "this is like eating ice-cream".
At first it was really like a dream
It was sweeter than ice-cream
when his tongue strolled across my womanhood
I remembered aborted memories of childhood.

But as he went faster,
As he went deeper,
The more pain I felt
I held tight his belt
After all this, blood scattered on the bed,
I took my pants and left, felt sick and bad.
Into tears I burst
For my virginity was lost.

I felt empty, I felt like gold I had lost
It felt like I had paid the greater cost
He said everything will be right,
but why did I not feel alright?
I paid the higher cost,
My virginity was lost.

When he had erupted he said "thank you"
Why did he say 'thank you'?
I realised two days later
But why didn't I know earlier
that for the service he was thanking me?
He said it was over between us, he used me
I paid the higher cost.
My virginity was lost.

I trusted him, but he lied to me
I loved him, but he only used me.
I broke all my parents' rules for him
I rejected every man to stay with him
I risked everything for him
I believed in him
Now I have lost everything for his lust
For my virginity was lost.

He left me with nothing but guilt
All the dreams and future together we built
Wrecked with the ships of deceit.
He only wanted to drag me to the pit.
I paid the higher cost
My virginity was lost.

It's been eight months now,
I am gathering my things to take a bow
From this cruel world, this horrible zoo.
He died of AIDS which means it's my destiny too.
I paid the higher cost,
My virginity was lost.